By Ruth Limkin
I know that what I am about to say is the simplest of statements, but one of the things that quite amaze me about a newborn baby, is that as tiny as they are, they have within them everything needed to be a fully grown adult.
Just add food and water, and a couple of decades, and you have an adult. (Of course, it’s recommended you also add love and nurture to increase your chances of a relatively functional adult.)
It’s such a simple reminder that children are not just ‘children’. They are people, and we have a moral duty to oppose the objectification of children in the same way we should oppose the objectification of women.
The latest in a string of reports about women seeking to fulfil a desire for motherhood, alone and using someone else’s eggs and/or sperm, is a reminder that women can sometimes impose on others the very thing we resist having imposed upon ourselves.
A desire for a child does not equate to a right to have one. For a single woman, at the age of 51, to be seeking an egg to create a child should give us reason to pause.
To be deliberately brought into a single parent family, and denied a biological and medical history, is not in the best interests of the child. If we had to sit down and explain to person, at 30 years of age, how we justified doing such a thing to them, our reasons would ring hollow.
Ultimately, it is at heart a selfish action, and views a child as an object of entitlement rather than as an individual who should be treated with love and respect.
For those who missed the opportunity to marry and raise children, there may be grief and loss. Yet the answer to this is not to create a child. It is to grieve. It is to be grateful for friends and community. It is to invest into other people’s lives, even if you cannot invest into the life of your own child.
If we take the same line of thinking – “I want you so I have a right to you, regardless of the consequences for you” – and place it in the context of the way men view women, we would be rightly horrified.
Why are we any less so, when it is adults viewing children in this way….?